so i have this dog

have you ever noticed how you can simultaneously love something, and want kill it too? of course you do. look who i'm talking too. every person who has ever been in a relationship knows this. lilly invokes both emotions in me, almost everyday, and within very short distances of each other. let me give you an example.
she hates edward cullen, now i cannot blame her for this, it's the way she shows her disdain i do not approve of. my sister and i went to the premier of twilight: breaking dawn. don't you judge me. i like my train wreck of a book, turned into a train wreck of a movie as much as the next 12 year old girl. to document this glorious time we had our picture taken with edward and jacob (lookalikes) they were creepy, and they were from byu which made them double creepy. so to make them really uncomfortable we hung all over them like crazed fans. nothing funnier than uncomfortable byu coeds. anyway, i have the picture, last night lilly decided she liked neither the lookalikes nor the picture, and shredded it into the tiniest pieces you could imagine. all except jacob who she left surprisingly unmamed. i guess edward is hated by all dogs. (twilight pun!)
i woke up to find offending picture all over my bedroom, and when i went to find and question her she looked like this.......

not guilty.

as a post script i would like to say: sorry for the bad phone pictures. my anniversary is coming up, and i have hinted heavily that i would like a new camera. we shall see.

i went to zion

and i climbed.

two years ago, k and i climbed led by sheep. it was pretty easy climbing. the view was amazing. when we came down from the climb we were sitting under a juniper that had been struck by lighting, drinking heineken, and that is when we decided that selling our house, moving into a trailer, and living on the road was a good idea. when you're in a position like that, and you don't want to go home, you make other arrangements.

i did not take pictures. i didn't stop to take document what was around me but, i did climb. i love zion in a way that is hard to explain.

i may be ready to do it all again.

{i am, still}

i have noticed a trend of very long absences this year in my blog.
i've been wandering the deep expanses of my mind and heart, and i seem to rarely come up for air. it's been a difficult couple of months for me. without being able to exactly figure out why. i am simply in a state of wander. some days i am very light, airy and can float. other days i am stapled firmly to the ground with bricks inside of my soul. i am trying very hard to release my thoughts, release my past, give myself some space from myself. but these things are harder to do then they sound.
i am afflicted. i should get a shirt.

the one where i climb

this post has been a very long time coming. i have little to no reason whatsoever for my long absence and lack of posting. although i do have a new puppy, and my days are spent picking up the stuffing from her toys and her piddle, which still happens on the carpet. any of you with tips on how to house train a puppy, i'm all ears.
anyway, i digress. we went to indian creek for richards birthday. with sunny days and very (very) cold nights. it wasn't the excitement that was kalebs birthday, but richard turned 35 and so we gave him the best thing a 35 year old, single male could want, a bb gun. that's right ladies, this hunk of man-meat is on the market, go ahead and give me a call, i would love nothing more then to set him up with a random internet stranger. that could be fun.
we climbed, they shot bb guns at beer cans and the tents, and little lilly was a trooper on her first camping trip. jenny and i spent the days with our faces turned toward the sun, and the evenings hiding from friendly fire within the traveling yurt. also it was like 12 degrees at night. people that is cold.

photographic glory: kaleb climbed an off-width, and taking pictures of such and endeavor is quite complicated. this picture however explains it fully.

(this is richard)

kaleb: fingers in a light socket 5.11d









also i lead the coyne crack, that's 5.11+ yo. and my feats of strength and will are documented below with far too many pictures. i'm quite proud, i also like to place a piece every 4 to 6 inches. don't judge me, that shit's scary.








ben: incredible hand crack 10+
richard: gorilla crack .10

lilly: oh my god you guys, she is so cute!





proof that jenny was in fact there.

terror in tiny town

don't let the sweet belly and ears fool you, she is a monster.
thus far she has chewed: k's slippers, her own kennel door, my computer power cord, barbies hand, my kitchen table legs, purple chalk, green chalk, my hair, and finally her own toys.
her newest favorite thing is to climb into baskets of laundry fresh from the dryer, and talk shit to bear from underneath the ottoman. holy terror.
we are desperate to house train her, but she seems unwilling to go out and tinkle in the cold weather, she prefers the carpet.
but, she is so cute, and how can you stay mad at such a face? you can't. i've tried.

we've done a little math

addition.

we picked up this little ball of perfect on valentines day. it's love.
her name is lilly, and she likes chasing toys, sleeping in daddy's lap, and bothering bear.
so far bear is less than thrilled with her. i'm hoping that is a temporary situation.
as for k and i, well, we simply can't get enough of her face.





speaking of perfect.
we took her up to the mountain for some sunshine and the dew tour. she was a hit. and i'm pretty sure she has some gangster in her blood.

this weekend he turns 30

oh god, oh god, oh god.

he actually seems to be taking it very well. the hyperventilation and panic attacks are mine alone. it seems i am not great at handling the getting older situation. mine or his. but, as he readies for adulthood-because in my mind this is when adulthood starts, twenties are just an extension of teenagerdom with more money, and less parental guidance-i reflect on our time together.

many of you may not know, although many of you probably do since my followers consist mainly of my family and friends....all 16 of you...kaleb and i met when he was a baby, 21, but in man-terms that is a baby. he was a snowboarder who spent the summers in alaska. he made me laugh, and didn't seem too concerned with the idealism of a traditional lifestyle. we've been together ever since. that's 8 years fools. that in and of itself is pretty impressive, if we were a Hollywood couple we'd be iconic.

anyway, when he turned 22 i gave him a wallet. my first ever gift to a man. other boyfriends i had the foresight to dump before their birthday. giving bad presents isn't my style. but, kaleb was cute, and had long hair, and wore flannel, and i had just met him, so i gave him a gift.

we've lived in different two different states, climbed, worked in alaska, run rivers, got married, climbed, bought and sold houses, lived in a trailer for the soul purpose of traveling and climbing, hiked mountains, camped in winter storms, fly-fished, snowboarded, surfed, raised a puppy, climbed....it's been a pretty good 8 years,

i feel like we made the most of his twenties (not mine, i still have a few years) and while his hair is shorter, and maybe there isn't quite as much anymore, he still wears flannel, he's even cuter, he still makes me laugh, he's my best, funnest friend, and i'm looking forward to what his thirties bring us. as he's still not all that concerned about a traditional lifestyle.

happy birthday husband.
i love you very much.