{just a couple of things}

it seems i've had so many ideas racing through my mind, i feel the need to straighten them out. first, i notice in the mornings that i tend to not want to go to work. it's an annoying sense of "i've got better things to do" the last few mornings i have felt this, i noticed my attitude throughout the day is more negative, more just wanting to get the whole thing over with.
in truth, i do like my job.

i teach children how to read.
maybe i force children to read.....the line is blurred. nevertheless, i work with the most beautiful little beings in the city. their faces, their endless energy, the way they run and jump onto a sled. they are inner-city kids however, and most are fairly jaded in their young lives. but, they're funny and i like that. so, it's not the kids i dread seeing, it's that i must go to work. the words themselves are foreboding. so an attitude change is clearly needed.

next, i've been doing yoga for last year. it began as a form of exercise, to help me with climbing, and get some strength. i have the most amazing yoga teacher, and her practice is lovely, so i began to try to yoga like she yogas. we don't practice in front of mirrors, i have no idea what i look like. but, i keep this sense of trying, of having goals (handstand why must you mock me) and then i saw the most amazing yoga video ever. the woman was gorgeous and serene and pressing into handstands from all over the place. it gave me a sense of what my practice should be. a practice. (novel, i've mentioned before i'm slow, right?)
i need to breath, calm my mind, listen to my heart, and eventually the lightness will happen from within. i will take this concept to the rest of my life.

lightness.
calm.
breath.

also, i will only go to yoga classes that give me that.....some are like a football field all competitive and show-offy.

i may also try my hand at painting....
i'm not artistic, but, i would like some art...we'll see how that goes.

i think an appreciation for what i am, for my body, for my mind, and for my life will translate over into the day. maybe if i slow down, i may even get more accomplished.

i'm back

after months of "borrowing" our neighbors --spotty at best-- internet, and tethering to my phone--thanks t-mobile for removing that option (dicks)--we have finally, officially, installed our very own interweb connection. i also locked it with a 13 digit password of various random numbers, letters, and signs, (so there, all you with locked internet, go ahead try to figure out my password) and i will be back to the blogging here in no time at all.
there may be a few other obstacles in my way, such as the fact that my camera doesn't take the best pictures now that the lens is scratched. however, husband received a fancy gopro camera for christmas, and now has hours of climbing video for me to edit. i didn't think this gift through very well. my training in video editing consists of knowing how to download the entirety of the raw footage onto my hard drive.
good thing i now have the internet, i'm sure somewhere out there is a training video...........right?

anyway,
hello,
i've missed you, let's get back together.