i'm beginning to feel some pressure. who is applying this pressure? i'm not quite sure. but, i feel it, and i don't appreciate it. i don't have a baby. i don't even have a concept or thought of a baby. some people are baby people. some people feel like having children is the best, most wonderful thing they could ever in their lives do. i don't have that gene. here is the gene i do have, i have the take off for the weekend without a second thought gene. i have the spend my afternoons moving every piece of furniture in my house up and down the stairs, and six inches to the left gene. i have the drive to climb a 5.12, and hold a handstand this year. i have a river in my backyard, which i think should automatically disqualify me for children for safety reasons. i have commitment issues, i have only been with my husband for 8 years, everyday of that i have wanted to be with him. children are there, always, whether you want them to be or not. i have two dogs. i tend to be anal, controlling, and anxiety ridden, these are not good traits in a parent. i want nice things, and i have a husband and two dogs, throw a child in there and nice things will never, ever happen. i have a hard enough time getting myself, and my husband showered on a regular basis. i have just barely, finally, kind of, figured out who i am, and what i want.-- i simply do not think i will be a good parent.
kaleb, on the other hand, would be spectacular. but, since the having of the children is a two person job, and the birthing of the children falls solely on my shoulders, i decide. so, as for right now, and the near and foreseeable future, i will remain childless.
so...back off
You can have nice things when you have two dogs? I have one dog and one fake dog and I THOUGHT I could have nice things, but it turns out usually I can't.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I understand your feelings of not wanting to have children. It's just not something I feel like I need to do... kind of how I feel about religion. And I get tired of explaining myself.