to zion with my girlfriends

well, hello again. long time eh? that is ok, good things are worth waiting for. although, whether this blog is a good thing, or this post is worth waiting for, i'm not sure.

i just returned from a week long vacation with my girlfriends. just my girlfriends. now, not to sound like a 50's housewife, but i have never gone on a trip without kaleb. sure we've been separated, while he worked in alaska i was here, and he's left for weeks and weekends to climb routes that are out of my range...and there's always that occasional quibble that leads to nights spent at the parents house (omg! we are an interwebbualar couple that is not perfect). but, never have i left him, and never for seven days in a row. well girls, mama's spreading her wings.

my girlfriends kristen and adrienne have parents who have a house in zion. since i've been friends with these two gorgeous and amazing girls for my whole life, they invite me along, they also invite a gaggle of our other friends, so zion turns into quite a party.

when kaleb and i go together things are very serious. kaleb studies the climbing zion book, and marks every climb he may potentially want to do ever. we wake up early and climb throughout the day. the evenings are spent laughing, with small amounts of drinking, but the climbing is on.

that is not what happened this week.

we started the week out with good intentions, waking early and running 5 miles through cougar invested forest, then doing yoga on the deck in the sunlight. then we painted our nails, then we poured cocktails. to begin drinking at 11am and continuing until the wee hours of the morning is totally acceptable vacation behavior, and it turns out we are really good at it. so that is basically how the week went, wake, run, small bits of exercise, and then cocktails. we did venture out a bit. we went hiking in the park, and to a beautiful alpine lake, we even found a shoe tree. but, for the most part, our eco-friendly cups were filled with vodka tonics, and we required a dd.
  

late nights, early morning, and copious amount of alcohol kinda took a toll there in the end.
7 days, 4 bottles of vodka, and 5 pounds later, i came home. i think i could live with those girls forever, laughing and being totally inappropriate. my liver on the other hand is glad that i'm back to drinking water.

add a hobby to the list

one night, a couple of years ago, my brother-in-law and his friends came for a ski trip. we were all chatting, people with the same hobbies tend to get along. one of them said "do you mountain bike?" i, being a total opinionated child (even at 27) said "no." i had never had good experiences on a mountain bike. i was terrified. i snowboarded and climbed, back off. he said "you should, it is the perfect trifecta."

 k and i got mountain bikes.it is the perfect trifecta.

i'm beginning to think the problem was not me, it was my old, rusty, horrible mountain bike. because like everything else i do, i am a pretty amazing mountain biker. i love it. also, it could not have come at a more perfect time. ogden, being an outdoor mecca, is not particularly known for its climbing. k and i have climbed every available surface ogden has to offer, and after climbing in yosemite, zion, city of rocks, indian creek.....ogden just doesn't do it anymore. like a bag of pot in high school, sure it seemed awesome, but then you grew up, and realized that it was mostly just seeds and stems and you much prefer the blueberry chronic. i'm just trying to relate, i have no bases for such matters, i'm outdoorsy. nevertheless, we will still climb in ogden mostly because we don't live in indian creek or zion, but mountain biking has opened up the mountain in ways i never thought.

in the evenings after work, during the weekend, in a few spare hours you can mountain bike all over the place. we can also go from our house,  people ogden is awesome. so, with perfectly matching his and hers bikes and helmets kaleb and i make quite a pair. if you are married to kaleb you would know he is good at everything, you would also have to watch your back as i would hunt you down and fork you. he can rock a bike, and looks super sexy doing so.

also, the doggies are happy we can finally keep up with them.  which makes this happen at the end of the day, and that's nice too.

birthday week

so, as i get older, and it becomes more and more traumatic, i've decided to make my birthdays last longer. a transition period if you will. also, i really like when people hang around and tell me i'm beautiful and amazing and give me presents. so, i've slowly grown over time from having a single birthday day, into a couple of days, then a handful and now a week. my sisters graduation on saturday is putting a damper on the weekend. but, since it is her college graduation, i guess i can let it slide this year. although, i'm pretty sure she scheduled it simply to fuck with my birthday week...attention hog.
so to kick off the celebrations last weekend k, richard and i went to indian creek. i'm beginning to think i have some pretty good karma, totally undeserved of course, because indian creek was once again ours for the taking. i was slightly depressed, as any woman turning 27 can rightfully be. i'm getting old fool. but, nothing kicks a depression like fingers and hands in a crack, and two good-looking men. because my camera is now, officially, unusable there are no pictures.
then with my real and actual birthday falling on a tuesday (that was may 1st for any of you trying to do the math) i had dinner with my dearest family. i like that very much, and as a interesting side note, i am now part of the kindle crowd. i am aware if you know me at all in real life, you have heard my long winded rampages about how the kindle is killing books, and i like the feel of a real book in my hands, and so on. but, i like trees, and books are made from trees, and fuck it, i like the kindle so back off.

then last night, we went to see the black keys! my eardrums are burst, i danced for 2 hours, and they rocked my ass off. i'm a huge fan of live music. kaleb isn't a huge fan of crowds, so rarely we go to see live music. i hemmed and hawed over buying the tickets. i heavily hinted i wanted to go. then exactly 2 hours before the doors opened i bought tickets, and i am oh so happy i did. i would like to point out one tiny thing i noticed last night. people were sitting during the concert, particularly the people sitting right below us. now, i am not one to judge. ok, i may judge sometimes, but, in my humble and always correct opinion sitting during a concert is lame. live music is an interactive experience. dancing is almost always required. i mean really, at least stand up, tap your foot, and sway slightly. i may have bashed them in the back of the head once or twice while i was rocking out. but, i say that is their fault, had they been standing, as proper concert etiquette states, they would have been slapped in the ass, and everyone likes a cute stranger slapping their ass.

babies, and the reason i don't have one

i'm beginning to feel some pressure. who is applying this pressure? i'm not quite sure. but, i feel it, and i don't appreciate it. i don't have a baby. i don't even have a concept or thought of a baby. some people are baby people. some people feel like having children is the best, most wonderful thing they could ever in their lives do. i don't have that gene. here is the gene i do have, i have the take off for the weekend without a second thought gene. i have the spend my afternoons moving every piece of furniture in my house up and down the stairs, and six inches to the left gene. i have the drive to climb a 5.12, and hold a handstand this year. i have a river in my backyard, which i think should automatically disqualify me for children for safety reasons. i have commitment issues, i have only been with my husband for 8 years, everyday of that i have wanted to be with him. children are there, always, whether you want them to be or not. i have two dogs. i tend to be anal, controlling, and anxiety ridden, these are not good traits in a parent. i want nice things, and i have a husband and two dogs, throw a child in there and nice things will never, ever happen. i have a hard enough time getting myself, and my husband showered on a regular basis. i have just barely, finally, kind of, figured out who i am, and what i want.-- i simply do not think i will be a good parent.

kaleb, on the other hand, would be spectacular. but, since the having of the children is a two person job, and the birthing of the children falls solely on my shoulders, i decide. so, as for right now, and the near and foreseeable future, i will remain childless.
so...back off

4 years and counting

i have been married to this gorgeous hunk of man-meat for 4 years.




4 years people, that's pretty impressive in this day and age.
guess what else? i still even like him. like a lot.
--oh my gosh, so romantic, i could just throw up.--

now, i will tell you the secrets of our very successful marriage.

1. he makes fun of me...seriously all the time. whenever i'm feeling a bit hormonal, angry or in a raging mood to fight, he laughs at me. while this may seem annoying at the time, and while i want to pray mantis his head off, it makes me laugh, and laughing and yelling don't belong together.

2. we go on lots of trips together. pretty much every weekend. we've done this since the beginning, and we continue it. i like hanging out with him. crazy.

3. he does sweet and loving things for me. like taking out the garbage, bringing me coffee, making dinner, carrying me to the bathroom when i'm drunk and need to throw up.

4. i do sweet and loving things for him. i wash his underwear, and clean his car, and carry him to the bathroom when he's drunk and needs to throw up. equality is key.

5. he leads climbs, i top-rope them. this is important

6. when i really, really want to kill him and dump his body in the desert, i don't.

7. same-same for him. (this is a bigger accomplishment for him)

8. we talk, about everything. even the dark, ugliness of our personalities.

9. we balance each other. i am selfish, demanding, and a black hole of need. he is caring, laid back, and forgiving.

10. when all else fails, he is so so cute, i love him from a place deep within myself, and i need a belay.

happy anniversary husband.

so i have this dog

have you ever noticed how you can simultaneously love something, and want kill it too? of course you do. look who i'm talking too. every person who has ever been in a relationship knows this. lilly invokes both emotions in me, almost everyday, and within very short distances of each other. let me give you an example.
she hates edward cullen, now i cannot blame her for this, it's the way she shows her disdain i do not approve of. my sister and i went to the premier of twilight: breaking dawn. don't you judge me. i like my train wreck of a book, turned into a train wreck of a movie as much as the next 12 year old girl. to document this glorious time we had our picture taken with edward and jacob (lookalikes) they were creepy, and they were from byu which made them double creepy. so to make them really uncomfortable we hung all over them like crazed fans. nothing funnier than uncomfortable byu coeds. anyway, i have the picture, last night lilly decided she liked neither the lookalikes nor the picture, and shredded it into the tiniest pieces you could imagine. all except jacob who she left surprisingly unmamed. i guess edward is hated by all dogs. (twilight pun!)
i woke up to find offending picture all over my bedroom, and when i went to find and question her she looked like this.......

not guilty.

as a post script i would like to say: sorry for the bad phone pictures. my anniversary is coming up, and i have hinted heavily that i would like a new camera. we shall see.

i went to zion

and i climbed.

two years ago, k and i climbed led by sheep. it was pretty easy climbing. the view was amazing. when we came down from the climb we were sitting under a juniper that had been struck by lighting, drinking heineken, and that is when we decided that selling our house, moving into a trailer, and living on the road was a good idea. when you're in a position like that, and you don't want to go home, you make other arrangements.

i did not take pictures. i didn't stop to take document what was around me but, i did climb. i love zion in a way that is hard to explain.

i may be ready to do it all again.

{i am, still}

i have noticed a trend of very long absences this year in my blog.
i've been wandering the deep expanses of my mind and heart, and i seem to rarely come up for air. it's been a difficult couple of months for me. without being able to exactly figure out why. i am simply in a state of wander. some days i am very light, airy and can float. other days i am stapled firmly to the ground with bricks inside of my soul. i am trying very hard to release my thoughts, release my past, give myself some space from myself. but these things are harder to do then they sound.
i am afflicted. i should get a shirt.

the one where i climb

this post has been a very long time coming. i have little to no reason whatsoever for my long absence and lack of posting. although i do have a new puppy, and my days are spent picking up the stuffing from her toys and her piddle, which still happens on the carpet. any of you with tips on how to house train a puppy, i'm all ears.
anyway, i digress. we went to indian creek for richards birthday. with sunny days and very (very) cold nights. it wasn't the excitement that was kalebs birthday, but richard turned 35 and so we gave him the best thing a 35 year old, single male could want, a bb gun. that's right ladies, this hunk of man-meat is on the market, go ahead and give me a call, i would love nothing more then to set him up with a random internet stranger. that could be fun.
we climbed, they shot bb guns at beer cans and the tents, and little lilly was a trooper on her first camping trip. jenny and i spent the days with our faces turned toward the sun, and the evenings hiding from friendly fire within the traveling yurt. also it was like 12 degrees at night. people that is cold.

photographic glory: kaleb climbed an off-width, and taking pictures of such and endeavor is quite complicated. this picture however explains it fully.

(this is richard)

kaleb: fingers in a light socket 5.11d









also i lead the coyne crack, that's 5.11+ yo. and my feats of strength and will are documented below with far too many pictures. i'm quite proud, i also like to place a piece every 4 to 6 inches. don't judge me, that shit's scary.








ben: incredible hand crack 10+
richard: gorilla crack .10

lilly: oh my god you guys, she is so cute!





proof that jenny was in fact there.

terror in tiny town

don't let the sweet belly and ears fool you, she is a monster.
thus far she has chewed: k's slippers, her own kennel door, my computer power cord, barbies hand, my kitchen table legs, purple chalk, green chalk, my hair, and finally her own toys.
her newest favorite thing is to climb into baskets of laundry fresh from the dryer, and talk shit to bear from underneath the ottoman. holy terror.
we are desperate to house train her, but she seems unwilling to go out and tinkle in the cold weather, she prefers the carpet.
but, she is so cute, and how can you stay mad at such a face? you can't. i've tried.

we've done a little math

addition.

we picked up this little ball of perfect on valentines day. it's love.
her name is lilly, and she likes chasing toys, sleeping in daddy's lap, and bothering bear.
so far bear is less than thrilled with her. i'm hoping that is a temporary situation.
as for k and i, well, we simply can't get enough of her face.





speaking of perfect.
we took her up to the mountain for some sunshine and the dew tour. she was a hit. and i'm pretty sure she has some gangster in her blood.

this weekend he turns 30

oh god, oh god, oh god.

he actually seems to be taking it very well. the hyperventilation and panic attacks are mine alone. it seems i am not great at handling the getting older situation. mine or his. but, as he readies for adulthood-because in my mind this is when adulthood starts, twenties are just an extension of teenagerdom with more money, and less parental guidance-i reflect on our time together.

many of you may not know, although many of you probably do since my followers consist mainly of my family and friends....all 16 of you...kaleb and i met when he was a baby, 21, but in man-terms that is a baby. he was a snowboarder who spent the summers in alaska. he made me laugh, and didn't seem too concerned with the idealism of a traditional lifestyle. we've been together ever since. that's 8 years fools. that in and of itself is pretty impressive, if we were a Hollywood couple we'd be iconic.

anyway, when he turned 22 i gave him a wallet. my first ever gift to a man. other boyfriends i had the foresight to dump before their birthday. giving bad presents isn't my style. but, kaleb was cute, and had long hair, and wore flannel, and i had just met him, so i gave him a gift.

we've lived in different two different states, climbed, worked in alaska, run rivers, got married, climbed, bought and sold houses, lived in a trailer for the soul purpose of traveling and climbing, hiked mountains, camped in winter storms, fly-fished, snowboarded, surfed, raised a puppy, climbed....it's been a pretty good 8 years,

i feel like we made the most of his twenties (not mine, i still have a few years) and while his hair is shorter, and maybe there isn't quite as much anymore, he still wears flannel, he's even cuter, he still makes me laugh, he's my best, funnest friend, and i'm looking forward to what his thirties bring us. as he's still not all that concerned about a traditional lifestyle.

happy birthday husband.
i love you very much.